Lerning Lessnz from BirdCatz

Musashi Sez:

So, OK, I let this odd yong Tibettn fellr carree me down som dark stayrz to a damp room that look verre stranj—kinda round and rogf, wift the stonz evrwher. That iz, evrwher egsept the bak wall, wher ther a paintin on the plastr. In frunt of it is a funnee dark red rop, hangin from theez weird not-pillar things. It mayk me thingk they not want me to tutch the paintin (which of cors is sillee).

The reellee old boy aksks, “Do you recognize this painting?”

“Huh,” sez I. “Of cors. I sees it on mai neiygbr’s umrellrs all the tim. It’s Ceiling Cat lookin down to wher the birdcat, Gabriowl, caym down to tell Marry that she goin to be havin Ceiling Cat’s kittee. Um, but yu noe, I not a Cristshun kittee. I’z a Ceilingist Catatayrian. We doesn’t shur about Happee Cat, the kittee of Ceiling Cat. We talks about it a lot, but we hasn’t desydid yet.”

The boy sighed deeply. Then he sez, “Yay, but the LORD can use anyone he wants. Huh. So—“

But I cuts in. “Mai mom is studeeyin to be thee-o-lo-jian, an she sez that Ceiling Cat isn’t necesessarily a gy. Mom sez that Ceiling Cat is way beyond all them catnip mousseez and catnip ballz and whutnot. Mom sez eevn the Baibul supportz this ideer somtimz.”

The boy smiled. “Ah! An enlightened one. Excellent! Ah, but how easily one slips into the sloppy patterns of a particular language in the attempt to sway the masses! Yet we—“

“Um. Soree? But yu gyz ben talkin about yer foundr. He soun a littul bit lik Noah. Kin yu tellz me mor abouts him?”

The boy’s smile was radiant. “Ah, you recognize the language of the founder! Surely you are smiled upon by Noah, our founder, the saint who--”

“Errrr. I don’t noe about all them smylins, but I does has some edjukayshun in theez thins. Whatchur point?”

“Ah! You cut through the knot! I am Brother Narayan, Brother General of our order.”

“So yu desydzd to drug mai frend?”

“Er, well, yes, actually. But--”

“So yu’r eevl, rigt?”

“Um, well, no, actually, we’re the—“

But Agent Octavian had already discounted the little monk and jumped out of his arms. Sniffing the perimeter, he found a very clear path out of the shrine. "Alek, grab Gatto. Perro, let's skeddaddul!"