Monday, September 20, 2010

The Not-So-Borin Ekspozishun Bit, Part I

Musashi Sez:

Our collektiv faysiz is pink, cuz we lost this partiklr tranzmishun from our ajint Gato. We hadz it all along, but we fergot wer we puttid it. So now we catch up fer yu.

Mor of Gato’s Dialog an Doin Stuff (Tranzlaytid):

Wift mai deep bakgroun in espionazh, the prospek of clymin out the windo, cayrfullee trottin across the narro ledj to the windo 3 windoz down from us, an then lickin the glass until the sillee intrlektchurl doggee gets around to notissin me an opnz his windo…well, let’s jus say that I wuz egspektin to get mai tayl froz, eevn in summr, whil I waytid.

But this Prof’soor wuz smarty-pantsier than I egspectid. Wuns he figgrd out the problim wift his radio communicayshun thingy, he egspektid me (ME!) to come to him fer egsplaynin. It’s tru. I almos started likin him. But then I got ahold of maiself.

“Yah,” I sed, “so it obveeus that the stoopid CIA not so gud at thingkin about eelektrikl thingeez. So us, we cleerlee gots to thingk past that. How kin we mayk a diverzhun that don’t rely on our technoljee? I meen, look at whut we gots: me an Perro, egspeeriensd spyz, plus Sabaka, whu’ll drool on anneeboddee whu luks nys, an Paco, oy Santa Maria, Picotero Paco, whu wud sing in front of 2 def mouseez if they sat still long eenuf…”

Le Prof’soor sat suddenlee an lukd lik he wuz thingkin verree hard. Aftr a whil of that, he sed, “So, we ar trying to deestrakt zee peeplez in zee taverno part of ze inn, yes?”

“Of cours…”

“Hmm. So… whut we needs most is…a reezn fer focussin on somthin else…” He sighed. “Whut mayks folks chanj their intenshunz? Akshun? Myoozik? Mor vino?”

“Shur, som of that…”

“Hmm. So problee, whut we needs most is the Perfikt Song.” He went bak to his compyootrz then, as if it wuz me whu hadsd to mayk deesizhunz…

I thogt hard. I did whut that fellr Winnie the Pooh sed: thingk, thingk, thingk. An then it came to me… I sed to him, “So…we needs yu to look up, um, the leeriks to this Barry Mannilow song, in Frentch.”

Le Prof’soor hezitaytid. “An am I goin to reegrret zees partikularr Googl?

“Yah. Problee, yu will. Un million pardonne…”

But then wen he lookd at the strip of paypr in mai paw, he let out a sig of relief. “O, this? I has this on my iPod! Heer! Tayk this! I noe egzaktlee how to halp yu arranj zees partikularr deeverzeeon!”

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