Puttin Mai Ritz On

Musashi Sez:

That nigt, I slept lik one of them ded tree thins, I wuz that tierd. Wen I wokd up finalee, Alek wuz putterin around the room, hummin som song that was NOT disco or flamenco or Miles Davis: so, not reel myoozik. Huh. I wuz crawlin out from the verree soft sheetz of mai reellee big bed, reddee to giv him whutfer, wen he saw I wuz awayk an grinnd at me lik that kittee from Cheshir, Inglund.

“Octavian, Eight, Musashi, my buddy, my pal!”

“Alek? Whut yu smokin?”

“Your illustrious Zora rang this morning and asked if it would be acceptable for your dinner date tonight to be at the Lancaster.”

“O…K…So why yu lookin lik one of them gyz in the myoozikuls, whu is reddee to bust into song an dans?”

“Eight, the Lancaster is a 5-star…no, it’s THE 5-star restaurant, at least this year. The chef is legendary—“

“I jus hops he kin do toonr wiftout messin it up.”

“Eight! So little faith!”

At this point, Pero loped ovr an givd his 2 francs. “Jus don’t get so egsytid ovr thee noms that yu fergit yer job, Senor Ocho!”

“Noms is nys, but they is not the werld, Pero. I is worreed about them kitteez thingkin that they ar rollin in safe ‘Nip an bein wrong. That…jus not rigt.”

Alek sed, “Once I’ve gone over these plans, I’ll be able to tell you what sort of information we are looking for from your friend Fel—er, Zora.”

“Hrmph. Fine. I’m havin som noms an watr an goin to the ‘loo’ an then I’m goin bak to bed. Yu jus wayks me up wen it tym to connekt mai wire or stuff lik that.”

“Actually,” sed Alek, “I thought you might want a bath—”

I hit the ceilin, Pero started barkin his hed off, an between the 2 of us, poor Alek din’t noe whut hit him. Wen we finlee calmd down, Alek sed meekly, “Or…not?”

Mom Says:

In the end, our heroes compromised. Agent Octavian gave himself an extra-thorough licking—even the tricky bits on the chest and between the toes. Pero napped fitfully on the biggest bed until the memory of the b-word went away. And Alek, good-hearted, well meaning Alek (who, to give him his due, really would take a bath before an important date) sat down at his computer and worked Very, Very Hard to get the information Octavian would need to navigate his coming dinner conversation with Felicity Fourpaws, Empress of Dogtoys.