Agent 08, On Her Majestee’z Intrspeeciez Servis, Part II

Musashi Sez:

Fer thoz of yu whu ben followin mai adventchurz on my old blog, The Musashi Guide, at http://musashiguide.blogspot.com, yu alreddee noe how I got rekrootid by MI-6 an met the reellee awsom laydee, “M,” whu imeediatlee saw how yoosful a resorsful kittee lik me cud be to the organizayshun. Yu watcht wift baited breft whyl I navigated a verree difficult mishun in Licktenshtyn, a mishun that inkloodid money-laundrin, pertee kittee laydeez, survaylens eeqwipmint, dark tunnelz, brayv eskapyz, an som reellee amayzin fresh fish.

So yu ar probubul not bein surpryzd that MII-6 in jenrul, an M in partiklar, are desydin that I am the bestest possibul ajent to send on a danjerous mishun wift the possibul-ness of nevr comin bak alyv—Hang on a minoot. I gots to mayk a call. Yu jus keep reedin, cuz it stayz interesting.

So M gayv me Singul-O Status (SOS, as oppozd to Jimbond’s DOS). The “O” meen I got “lysense to claw out yer eyz an yer gutz, reellee qwite paynfullee” as long as I don’t akshul kills yu. M sez that it call fer lots mor judjmint, sinz I’m not allowd to aksidental blow up a bildin, fer instins, or shoot down a ayrplayn, cuz that migt akshul kills somboddee.

I’m in the Innerspeeseez Devizhun, but they sez I kan’t meet the Qween yet, cuz then I wudn’t be seekret aneemor. Is verree importint, not blowin up yer covr.

OK! This is me bak from talkin wift M. She sez that she alreddee had whut she call a “sivilyzd diskushun” wift mai mom. M sez mai mom wuz pertee tugf, an jus a littul skaree, but that they kaym to a “reezonobbul” agreemint about necessaree and egspektabul danjr. Aneewae, parentlee, M wuz reellee perswaysiv an Mom loosind up. Also, M has desydid to giv me egstra resoursis so that nothin happn to me that mayk mai mom hunt M down. (Go Mom!!!)

So the onlee othr ishoo is about sekyooritee. Now, I personal noe that yu wuds nevr givs me awae becuz yu’r gud reedrz. An that’s verree conveenyent. But fer thoz of yu reedrz whu migt classifai yerselvs unner “not gud” or possible “untrustabul,” we has tekhnolojee fer yu, too.

See, as of Joolai 4, 2009, we gots this cool nu tekhnolojee to locayt reederz by GPS, an then signal the closest K-9 “Cleen-up Sqwad” (K9CS, somtimz calld Cannons). They got theez hyooj Dobermun doggeez wift teeft the length of mai tail an breft lik a garbudj dump. Yu be bad reedrz, an they will com vizit yu.

Breefly.

So I noe I am sayf wift yu…